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January 05 Happy New Year! It's time to get back to work, huh? I had an awesome Christmas and New Year in Florida, had a chance to get some sun again ;) I can't complain that what I had been waiting for the whole time. In Florida was my first time to have homesick since I moved here. The air after it rained reminded me of home. The weather was so sweet, like home. The first day I got there, I was crying and missing home so bad. That weather was exactly where I came from, where I was born and grew up with. Tom was talking to me the other night about how our lives changes. Over three years ago, we met in Thailand, we had a good time, traveling and partying. Year and something ago, he was in Costa Rica and I was still flying. Now here we are, another place, Tom has his real job, no more surfing, no more crazy night out like we had in BKK. I am finally here in America and we live together again, seem like that what we had always wanted. Nothing here is "easy". No matter how hard I had imagined that it would be, it can't compare to how it actually is. I can't count how many night I went to bed with tears. I was frustrated and depress. I miss being myself that is fun and happy. I dunno how long other people take to cove with this; I wish mine is over soon. It was hard leaving every person that you love and be in another side of the world. But that what I chose and I am sticking with it, to be with another person that you love and love you. My New Year Resolution!! I will be myself again! I will be happy and enjoy EVERY moment in my life. I will be thankful and be the same person you knew before… I miss myself, I really do. How was your NY eve? Mine was in Jacuzzi, champagnes, and firework. Fair enough to start my New Year?  until next time ... |  |
June 20
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Sunday, June 04, 2006
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Another night(live) in BKK
I am home! I love to be home and always feel so good here. A lot of time after my long trip away from home, when I travel around Bangkok, I feel like this is new. Why does things change so much when I am not here? And its always surprise me in some ways.
I came back here on Friday night and wayyy too tired to do things. Have you ever felt like you are too lazy even to move? Haha that was how I felt. Friday night was Jenny Bday but she had to stay in and do her family things, which is good because I would be too tired if there were any party. So we made a plan to go meet up at Someday , our favorite restaurant. Oil and I secretly agreed that we would not go out that night. I even wore shorts to made myself not look too dressed uphaha 
After 2 bottles of red wine, yummy foods and good talk, we decided to go out; Nat, Oil, Jenny, Diah and I.
Fist destination was Escudo, Escudo on Saturday night? No wayyy we could possibly find a table. Escudo was my favorite club when I was in Uni. I remember in my senior yearI went there about 6 times a week..haha can you imagine that? But since I graduated, I am not a big fan there anymore, dunno that because Im getting (a BIT) older or something. hehe We walked in, danced in front this(old) guys table , just because no one would, walked around then agreed we should got out of here.
Then where would we go? Tik tok tik tok 
Definitely! Route 66! hahaha We just love that place. At Route, it was sooooo much fun. We drank and danced and just went crazy. The Bday girl looked really happy and very pretty that night. Diah, the new crew of our gals party is a hot Indonesian girl. I like her!! She is really fun to hang out with and I can tell that she is cool from the first moment that we hung out.
Brad followed us later and it seems like by that time the girls were already in our places  haha drunk yes, I meant that. Greg was also joining us for a while. Greg was also an English teacher at ABAC before he changed his work (which I honestly forgot where it is right now ;P). Every time I go to Route 66, I ALWAYS sees him there. (no idea why though, is he a DJ there??)
Poor Brad had to take care of all these drunken girls. Diah managed to drive me home while Brad sat in the front and Jenny passed out on the back seat next to Oil and me. 
No, I didnt pass out. I was OK, enough to make a drunken phone call directly to B-more. haha
Had a sweet dream, slept with smile on my face thank you baby xoxoxo
It was another (good) night in BKK.
Peace | | |
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Saturday, June 03, 2006
Relocation
Current mood:  optimistic
I went to Sassy diary's page today and read her diary after haven't got in there a very long time. I always wonder how she is and really miss her. It seem like we havenÃขt really talked or hung out for an ages. But things are going great with her and my life is going on, too.
This is one part of her diary, may I?
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Life is difficult when it comes to making decision between love and career but if you look at it carefully, its not that difficult. It is just that you focus too much on the future, not the present.. not on what you see right in front of you.
Relocation has been sitting in my mind for ages but I have never considered it seriously. Part of it could be that my ex's were not serious about it as well.
What am I going to face? - Food, language, friend, environment, weather and all that. They will be all new.. of coz one day I will get used to those things. It's about adaptation and willingness. I asked myself this morning "Do I have willingness?" Without delay, I knew the answer. I always put in 100atter what, I will fight for it.
Learning from my experience, no matter how it will end, I will be proud to give all my effort into relationship.
Petri has been teaching me to put it all. His enthusiasm gives me strengths. The word determination would be best described his personality. Nothing can stop us if we have willingness. There are times I feel like giving up but when I think about the future, wouldn't what I'm trying to do worth risking?
This week, I'm flying to see him again. Will look for another condo. And spend great decent time and after that, we will see.
Love conquers all?
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What should I say? I am happy for her. And this diary hit me straight into my face. LOL No matter how long we haven't talked but in this point of view, I believe the same thing as her.
Relocation and new environment adaptation is something scary and people could say it is stupid or it might be too risky. But once you found yourself SO MUCH in love and there is a way that you can be together and give it a shot based on reality. Like she said, it is about the adaptation and willingness.
Tom asked me many times, "Do you like your job?". I used to answer with a passion in my eyes that I did love my job! I love kids and old people and I love travel and see new stuff everywhere around the world. I think it is so interesting to get to know people that come from different countries and learn how they think and live their life.
After almost 3 years of flying, he asked the same question and I now that I answered, "I still love my job but I hate to wake up by myself and see these things without you". Is it cheesy if I am telling you that I sleep every night and wish that when I open my eyes, I would see him sleep next to me? I'd work my ass off to pay the bills and trade this flight attendant life for a life with him, a normal life that make me happier.
I live my life everyday now with this feeling, when I see things; I want to share this with him. When I listen to the beautiful music, I want him to be with me and so that I can look into his eyes and tell him how much I love him. Or when he comes home tired from work, I can give him a big squeeze, kisses and comfort him.
And I ask myself if my feeling for him is this strong, what I am doing here without him. Visiting B-more last month he asked, "why you keep working there while you can work here and be together?" That was just so TRUE. What I am doing here!
Baby, you know my reason. I have no hesitate to relocate any second in my thought. Please wait for me a bit more, at least for my family. No doubt about my willingness and sacrifice for this relationship, I put more than 100% and I am willing to see how love will lead us. I am soooo excited to go back and study and yes, definitely, YOU! I'd love to take another step of my life and I am sure I will learn tons and tons more .....with you.
So Sassy, I'm happy with you. I will take this risk, too. And I am happy about it. No matter what happen, I believe you will proud of yourself, too. We' are tough, huh? (or at least we are trying to be one)
Aom (in love) |
Friday, May 26, 2006
Current mood:  excited
Category: Parties and Nightlife
Party Tonight!!!!
Ohh yeahhh ohh yeahh !!! We are having party tonight. I'm excited haha. Maybe this is my good thing(I guess) that I always excited about things and really ready to enjoy them...
A lot of people who love to hang out with me(party; whatever ;P) , they said they love to party with me 'cause I always so fun to party with. Because Yes, I am crazy and I am willing to enjoy every second if I'm going out, otherwise I better stay home and chat with my boy haha Seriously, I am a very homey person and soo lazy but once I go out I GO OUT..haha
Tonight Beige's friends in korea will have a bbq party. I met these people but never really remember their names haha my bad , i know. It was fun eating and drinking... haha my favorite part actually. We will go out after to this korean night clubs...I cannot named them cause I never get to remember stuff after a while  ;P Mitch and Tish will go tonight too. So it will definitely be fun. Mitch is the crazy one and I really love to hang out with her haha ...I am sure I will have something to tell ya after tonight ..something fun ;)
to be continued .... May 07 | Novemver 11, 2005
Current mood:  sad
Category: Life
At 9 PM I just got out from my gym. I was taking BTS (sky train) back home everyday. Since yesterday that I noticed the opposite side of the sky train they are building new shopping mall. People who work there look at us, people on another side of the building. I wonder what they were thinking when they look at us. People on this side are all dressing up, group of university students that wearing all fashionable cloths and the office workers that hurry back home or just came back from dinner at the good restaurants around here. Today again I looked at them, it was 9pm and they were still working. Some of them were still hanging out of the building and trying to get this name of the shopping done before go home. They were working without anything to protect them. I wonder if they fall down the building, if they die, how about their family. At least one of these men is the father of the family. They probably earn very little amount of money per day. If the father passed away, what can the rest of the family live? Money that I probably spend in very stupid thing in my life could buy food for their whole family. How about his kids? Do they have to struggle to pay for school? My family is not rich but we are living comfortably. My parents could send me to the expensive school and most of the thing that I want; I mostly get it with a good reason. And I always have them, ther alway be there for me.
On the way back after I got out from the BTS and took the cab, during the red light, I saw a boy that wore half school uniform and were selling flowers. He probably was 12 years old not more than that. He was watering the flower and seems tired. He was working alone, no one there to help him. Where were his parents? They probably were working somewhere else, too. It is sad. When you saw things like this, people struggle for living. I know that is he part of LIFE. But I have to admit, it is so sad. I feel really bad for them but I cannot do anything. I feel grateful that born in my family. Even we are not rich but I have my parents all the time, whenever I need them. I wish that boy at least have a happy time in his life. I hope that workers happy to be home with their families. At least in the small part of their life, I hope they find happiness on their way.I believe this struggle that people are trying to go through it, it makes them more strong, give strength. That is life, right?
And then I wonder, am I the only person who think about all this stuff? | May 2, 2006|
Current mood: optimistic
Category: Friends
Last night was another night out here in Bangkok. We had a great time. We actually always have a great time when we go out. It seems like everyone knows how to have fun. We went to RCA, Route 66. Everything seems to be the same only if Grace is now on the plan back to America. Everyone feels so sad. Little by little, Grace turns to be part of our life here in Bangkok. Thai guys love her and we love her. Not just that she is so nice so much until you can actually feel it and let yourself love her automatically. Not just that how lovely when she speaks Thai and the way that you can feel how much she loves this country and how honestly she is.
Oil and me had a conversation and we totally agree we already love her without trying to. It is just like that. Last night after we dropped her at her place, I cried. I feel sad but understanding. Everyone is searching for our own path. I wish her luck and happy. I know I will keep in touch and I will see her again in America or even back here in Thailand. She will come back one day.
Living in Thailand is always a good experiencing no matter you love or hate it. I told Tom when he was leaving Thailand last year that when you go back there, you would be another person who come and sees and actually lives here. You have wider eyes and probably wider mind. I am not saying that one country is better than the others are. No matter where you live and get to know people. You open your eyes more and more. It definitely affects the way you look at your life. You might lose one or 2 years of making tons of money at home. But what you got back from here, I believe that is worth it. I always feel happy for people who come and live and get to know in real life that what it is about when you get to live there. You gave a shot and you knew. I am that type of person who gives a shot and see what will happen. I believe nothing will happen if you keep on being scared. I am scared too. But why don't we look in the bright side and use that feeling as a drive to do cool thing, to try and to learn. I believe that what life is all about.
Living here, I see people come and goes. We say good bye to people every year. People who stay get sad and then make friend with the new comers and still missing people who left. Because we are friends. I also understand that you have your motherland and in some point of life you should go back and do your own things. No matter where you are going to end up or what you are going to be. That is why I never stop people from leaving. I wish them luck and I will be happy for them in whatever they do. Friendship that formed, it will not go away just because the distance that we live. It will still be there with us.
So Grace, you can be sure that. People here will miss you and always welcome you anytime. Thai boys are crying cause you are gone ;) But you can find us, me whenever you need me. In my case, I will see you in America! Love you na ka. |
April 9, 2006
Current mood: excited
Category: Parties and Nightlife
The night in Bangkok started from dinner at Saxophone, our girls, Nat, Grace, Oil, Bay, Jenny and me. We had dinner with the boys which were Brad and Woody and we had Jennys friends joined us later. As plan after dinner it was going to be girls night out. So we all left to Tapas at Silom Soi.4.
The night was crazy. We were all had fun, shots of tequila, majito and beers and ahhh I couldnt remember. 
There wear 2 Thai guys that liked Nat and Grace. They were ok at first. One guy was real nice but another one was real asshole.  He was dancing with us and was so rude. I thought he was drunk so I should be alright. just stay away from me. None of us like him. He walked to me so I said you know what I will tell you one thing, like if you like girls, you should not do....... not even finished my sentence yet, he said NO!No! I dont wanna listen. So I said "fine then" and walked away back to my friends. He was mad now and tried to follow me and yell in my ears, SO WHAT! SO WHAT!. I WALKED away. He held his arm around my waist from behind, I couldnt think anything but who the fuck you are. I was holding a glass of white russian then I smash the glass into his face and the glass was broken. In one second I thought ohh! Godd, he is going to kill me. I was yelling Go AWAY!!! . People were all glaring at us. He was shock but still kept walking to me. Jenny tried to block him away from me. I was in the level of . Ahh.... how can I say, I know that if he walked to me and grabbed me again, I would do something bad. I knew I would not stand anything that he was going to do. I hit a persons face with a glass?!?!?!
I never had this kind of fight before in my life. But this guy was so what is the word, huh? Douche bag!!!
Yessss. That was my first bar fight!!! What a life, huh?
PS. I beleive all the girls had fun though. We were gone crazy...yeah everyone haha... don't worry the "boyfriends", we were good girlfriends ;)
muahhhhh
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